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Review: Swan Wand, Mini Swan Wand + Swan Curve
When I hear the word "swan," I think of a few things. Grace. Elegance. The color white. Bjork. Overwrought symbols of romance. Ostentatious pool floaties. And, because the folds of my brain are lined...
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Review: Je Joue Bullets (Rabbit + G-Spot)
The Je Joue Bullets are not lookers, not at all. There's a sense of utilitarianism about these vibrators -- the buttons are basic raised bits, each charging port is covered by a silicone flap....
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Review: Queen Bee
Me, masturbating: uh, don't mind me, I'm just over here jamming this ugly-ass hairbrush-lookin' thing against my vulva in a feeble attempt to orgasm. And I'm failing, friends. I'm failing and I'm...
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Review: Sassy
I have some big news I've been dying to share. No, no, I'm not pregnant. Not getting married. Moving? Uh, why would I leave a city where I can get legal weed and open-air vulvas in my face at the...
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Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Plus
There are still people making good decisions in this world. The reason I know this is because the Magic Wand Plus exists. The Magic Wand Plus is an upgraded version of the Magic Wand Original, the...
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Review: Zumio E
The tiniest tip ever to wiggle against my clit has morphed once again. It's called the Zumio E, and it's the third Zumio release, after the original Zumio X and follow-up Zumio S. Ooh, a word...
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Review: Dame Kip and Pom
Sometimes companies surprise you. When Dame hit the scene with their zealously-crowdfunded initial effort, the "hands-free" labia-clinging Eva, I pegged them as a company that would focus more on...
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Review: We-Vibe Touch X + Tango X
Is it a sign things are finally looking up? Fuck, I'll take anything. A pair of legendary vibrators, cult classics, revamped and enhanced 10 years after their initial release. They were already in the...
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Sex toys getting me through the pandemic
The pandemic has been a whole new time of giving-zero-fucks, and for me that's looked like a sort of survivalist hedonism. I've been reaching for comfort sex toys, proven winners, rather than toys I'm...
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Sex blogger field notes: audio journal
Today I'm releasing exclusive tapes from last month's masturbatory adventures. These are my intimate audio notes from out in the field -- 31 days of squirting, porn-ogling, blogging, and all manner of...
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