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Review: Siri 2
FINALLY. Fucking finally. I’ve been waiting years for LELO to upgrade their humble little clit vibe, Siri. While they were off dilly-dallying with weird oral sex simulators and pretentious cock rings,...
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Review: Prism V
There is no clever way to start a review about a vibrator that just works. I can offer no snarky analogies, no thought-provoking insight, no riotous backstory. I can’t lure you in with tales of...
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Review: Rave
It was 10:15 am, just a bit before I needed to leave for work, when the We-Vibe Rave arrived in the mail. I was already dressed — pants, shirt, shoes. My hair was wet from a shower. I’d already had...
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Review: Mystic Wand Rechargeable
It’s a let-down, but not in the “my clit is screaming” way. Not in the “orgasm seems like an impassable river” way, or even in the “these vibrations feel like death” way. But in the manageably sad...
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Review: Wonder ‘O’ Wand
Say you’re in a sex toy megastore along the highway. You’re on a road trip, making a pit stop to get lunch — maybe chicken nuggets? — and decide to venture inside the local sex shop while you’re at...
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Anatomy of a negative sex toy review (or: the Mimic)
You’re mid-masturbation and you’ve forgotten what it’s like for orgasm to feel achievable. You’re doing everything right, theoretically: the vibrator’s cranked up to its highest intensity, held...
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Review: Stronic G
Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a dildo and definitely not a vibrator, the Eins features an internal weight that...
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Review: Zumio X
When you’re a sex toy reviewer, certain toys can feel like a blessing from above. Mediocre masturbation sessions are par for the course with this job, and even toys that aren’t exceptionally terrible...
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Review: Smooth Operators (Snazzy, Choosy, and Classy)
Blink and you might pass right over them. They’re not terribly attractive, not revolutionary in function, not aggressively marketed. These vibrators have no celebrity endorsement or PR campaign behind...
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Review: Swan Wand, Mini Swan Wand + Swan Curve
When I hear the word “swan,” I think of a few things. Grace. Elegance. The color white. Bjork. Overwrought symbols of romance. Ostentatious pool floaties. And, because the folds of my brain are lined...
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Review: Je Joue Bullets (Rabbit + G-Spot)
The Je Joue Bullets are not lookers, not at all. There’s a sense of utilitarianism about these vibrators — the buttons are basic raised bits, each charging port is covered by a silicone flap....
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Review: Queen Bee
Me, masturbating: uh, don’t mind me, I’m just over here jamming this ugly-ass hairbrush-lookin’ thing against my vulva in a feeble attempt to orgasm. And I’m failing, friends. I’m failing and I’m...
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Review: Rave
It was 10:15 am, just a bit before I needed to leave for work, when the We-Vibe Rave arrived in the mail. I was already dressed — pants, shirt, shoes. My hair was wet from a shower. I’d already had...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Mystic Wand Rechargeable
It’s a let-down, but not in the “my clit is screaming” way. Not in the “orgasm seems like an impassable river” way, or even in the “these vibrations feel like death” way. But in the manageably sad...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Wonder ‘O’ Wand
Say you’re in a sex toy megastore along the highway. You’re on a road trip, making a pit stop to get lunch — maybe chicken nuggets? — and decide to venture inside the local sex shop while you’re at...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Anatomy of a negative sex toy review (or: the Mimic)
You’re mid-masturbation and you’ve forgotten what it’s like for orgasm to feel achievable. You’re doing everything right, theoretically: the vibrator’s cranked up to its highest intensity, held...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Stronic G
Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary sex toy called the Stronic Eins. Not really a dildo and definitely not a vibrator, the Eins features an internal weight that...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Zumio X
When you’re a sex toy reviewer, certain toys can feel like a blessing from above. Mediocre masturbation sessions are par for the course with this job, and even toys that aren’t exceptionally terrible...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Smooth Operators (Snazzy, Choosy, and Classy)
Blink and you might pass right over them. They’re not terribly attractive, not revolutionary in function, not aggressively marketed. These vibrators have no celebrity endorsement or PR campaign behind...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Review: Swan Wand, Mini Swan Wand + Swan Curve
When I hear the word “swan,” I think of a few things. Grace. Elegance. The color white. Bjork. Overwrought symbols of romance. Ostentatious pool floaties. And, because the folds of my brain are lined...
View Article